Help for male victims of domestic violence - how can you make yourself safer?
Support for male victims of domestic violence - help is available
Domestic violence destroys relationships and it can damage your self-esteem and confidence. In some cases people suffer severe physical injuries. Here are a few steps you can take to help yourself and improve your situation.
1. Call the Men's Advice Line
Talk to someone on our confidential helpline, we will support you, give you information and tell you how you can access specialist help. Call us on freephone
0808 801 0327 (free from landlines and most mobiles)
Monday - Friday 10am-1pm and 2pm-5pm or email info@mensadviceline.org.uk
2. Increase your safety - reduce the risk
If you are a male victim of domestic violence, you will need to consider reducing the risk to yourself from your partner or ex partner. We recommend that you consider making a safety plan. This will help you to prepare in advance for times when you may be in danger or are being physically or verbally abused.
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Keep a record of dates and times of all incidents. If you have been injured, get medical attention from Accident and Emergency (A & E) or your GP and they will make notes of your injuries.
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Keep your phone fully charged and on you at all times and your credit topped up - in case you need to make emergency calls.
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Tell a friend or family member about what's been happening.
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Keep your passport and copies of important documents in a safe place (with a friend or relative).
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Think about telling your employer about your situation.
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Always report the violence or criminal damage to the Police.
3. Do not retaliate - it's not safe
Always try to avoid retaliating as it is likely that it might escalate things and someone might get seriously hurt.
Try to leave the situation when you recognise the signs and triggers from your partner and feel that they may become violent or abusive to you.
If you retaliate and the police are called it may be that they see you as the abuser and you could be arrested and charged, particularly if your partner has any injuries caused by your retaliation.
4. Call the Police
Male victims of domestic violence often say that there is no point in calling the police or telling any one that they are being abused because: they will not be believed, people will think that they are "weak" and "not real men", if they disclose the violence and abuse they are experiencing from a partner. The reality is that it takes great strength and self-control to put up with long-term abuse and it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. The Police should take your allegations seriouslyand you have the same rights to protection from harm as a woman.
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Report the violence to the police, you do not have to press charges if you do not want to but it may help with any future incidents and can help to build a case against the perpetrator, if you do decide to press charges at a later time.
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Contact your local Community Safety Unit or Domestic Violence Unit (every police station should have one or be able to signpost you to the nearest one) and discuss with them the violence and abuse you are experiencing with a Domestic Violence Officer.
If you are frightened or in danger call 999
Find out what the Police should do when you report a domestic violence incident here.
5. Take care of yourself!
It's important to take care of your health and your well-being when you experience (or have experienced) domestic violence. Have a look at the Men's Health Forum website here
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