Effects of your abuse
It's important to face up to how your behaviour affects your partner. The more you can understand what your behaviour is like for her, the harder it will be to behave badly towards her in future.
Health and physical effects of domestic abuse
Your behaviour is likely to be having a serious effect on your partner's
health. If you've used physical violence, you've probably caused injuries.
These might include:
Stiffness, soreness, aching, throbbing, numbness, headaches
Cuts and other wounds, black eyes and bruising
Hair being pulled out, burst ear drums, broken bones
In some cases women have been killed or permanently disabled by their
partners.
Even if you haven't been physically violent, your partner may have developed
physical problems as a result of your abuse, such as:
Feeling physically tense, having difficulty sleeping, feeling exhausted, having
panic attacks, palpitations
In some cases women have said that:
Their periods stopped, they caught Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) from
their partners, they were physically sick
Some women developed negative ways of coping such as:
Using alcohol/drugs/cigarettes, self-harming, developing eating disorders
Some women have tried to kill themselves. Some women have succeeded.
How abuse makes women feel
As well as the physical effects, abuse also has an impact on women's
emotional well-being. She may feel more and more:
Stressed, vulnerable, depressed, ashamed, drained, terrified, confused, nervous,
hurt, unloved, worthless, destroyed, scared, humiliated, lost
Abuse destroys trust and wrecks relationships
You've probably noticed that your relationship is suffering as a result of
your behaviour. It sounds obvious, but it's impossible for anyone to feel the
same about their partner when they're being abused, however hard they might try
to pretend things are ok.
Although all relationships are different, what tends to happen is that the
woman who's being abused ends up:
Walking on egg shells, terrified of when the abuse might start up again, trying
to pacify you or agreeing with you to try and stop you getting abusive again,
being quiet and not sharing things with you, bottling things up, lying to
protect themselves (and the children), losing all sexual feelings
How many times does it take for your partner to see you as an abuser?
In the eyes of the person you have abused, you only need to do it once to be an
abuser!
What's it like for children living in a home with domestic violence? Find out here
